I have been having so much fun doing the Self-Love Game and following along with the cards…

And I’ve been feeling happier and more connected to myself much of the time…which feels great!

But I’ve totally stopped keeping track of my points, and I haven’t given myself the reward for my 1st 1,000 points. (Massage and facial)

I think what happened was that I was doing so many things from the cards that it got hard to keep track of the points I was earning without carrying something around with me. So I just kept on doing the things from my cards and then feeling good and I started using THAT as my reward…or something like that.

I just wanted to give voice to what I’m noticing with the “points” part of the game…

And I wanted to hear about your experience so far with them too.

Now that I’ve written this out I’m going to come back to points this week and see if I can bring more awareness to them. Because I think giving myself points and keeping track of what I’m doing can also be seen as a way that I take care of myself and give myself good things – which I have had a tendency of neglecting in the past. So giving myself points is PART of my love toward myself – I can see that too.

What’s the short version of what “self-love” means to you?

Share what you wrote down during our class…

There’s a cute book for kids called: Everyone Poops.

It’s a picture book that shows how all different kinds of animals poop…

And that people poop too.

One way it’s used is to help little ones who are potty training be more okay with the idea of pooping.

Well, I think it’d be cool to have a book geared toward adults reminding us that:

Everyone Plays!

Yes, little kids play…

And animals play…

But so do adults!

Seems like play gets put on the back burner after we enter the working world…

Or start a family…

Or get in a relationship…

Or hit a certain age that ends in ZERO, right?

We get “serious” about stuff and then sometimes forget what it’s even like to be:

• Silly
• Light-hearted
• Goofy
• Creative
• Care-free
• Fun
• Uncensored

As if being those things would be:

• Irresponsible
• Immature
• Dumb
• Distracting
• Self-indulgent
• Embarrassing

So those words in that last list above (and the fear of them) keep us from taking care of ourselves by giving ourselves PLAY.

Something that all mammals do…

Something that helps us relieve stress and refill our energy…

And actually…

When you avoid play, it’s like holding in your poop.

That sure doesn’t feel good right?

When you gotta poop, you gotta poop.

If you get constipated it hurts and is very uncomfortable.

Well, when we don’t PLAY and let that energy out, it hurts us in different ways..

We can get:

• Crabby
• Irritable
• Depressed
• Impatient
• Angry
• Frustrated

But if we let our need for PLAY come out…

It helps us stay in flow and not be so emotionally constipated.

So…

Keep your play energy flowing…

Use fun activities as your “laxative” to make sure your emotions keep running smoothly.

And just like you make sure that you have time to poop regularly…

Extend the same courtesy to yourself and make sure that you give yourself time to play regularly too.

When you get busy, busy, busy with work and family stuff…

Sometimes you wind up not giving yourself any playtime.

I’m not talking about just play like hanging out in a sandbox…

(Though of course you could do that too…)

But PLAY can be anything that rejuvenates you and helps you feel more alive.

Here some ideas:

• Watching a comedy.
• Going for a walk with your dog or your best friend.
• Playing frisbee.
• Swinging on a park swing.
• Journaling on a park bench.
• Playing solitaire.
• Calling a friend.
• Coloring mandalas.
• Making cookies.
• Having a picnic in your front yard.

Whatever it is that you choose to do for play, it should meet these criteria:

- Is it fun?

If you don’t have fun doing it, then it’s not really play.

For instance – maybe walking your dog feels more like a chore than something fun to do.

If that’s the case, then don’t consider it part of your PLAY.

- Is it special?

Whatever you do for play should feel special and unique. It should be like a treat!

A trip to the zoo maybe. Or a stroll through a book store looking at magazines and new releases.

Make sure it your PLAY activity feels like a privilege that you get to do it…

Like, “Oh boy!”

- Does it make you smile?

This one is important.

:)

When I worked at Blockbuster when I was in high school, our store owner told us to make sure that we smiled and said hello to every single customer who walked in.

Why?

Because he said that we might be the only smile that person sees all day!

Even though I was only 17, I could understand the power of what he was saying.

Some people can go ALL DAY without  seeing other people smile…and maybe don’t even smile themselves.

So the more opportunities for smiling – the better.

If your PLAY activity doesn’t make you smile, then why would you do it?

Instead, ask yourself:

“What WOULD make me smile right now?”

Then see if you can give that to yourself.

So…

What are your favorite ways to play?

The things that are fun, special, and make you smile when you do them?

And how can you do one of those things with yourself today – even if it’s just for 2 minutes?

(So far today, I’ve gone down to the beach, played hacky sack in the sand, and scurried along the waves like a tiny sandpiper bird trying not to get wet. It was fun, special, and I was smiling and laughing a lot too. And I feel so much better about starting my day.)

Here are some things you probably should know about me.

**I like playing games.

Not crazy mind games that mess with people’s heads…

But good ol’ fashioned “game-games” that are entertaining and involve some laughter and good conversation. I don’t care if I’m playing with a 6 year old or a 96 year old. I think games are a fun way to relax and connect with others.

Some of my favorites are: Scattergories, Apples To Apples, Taboo, & Balderdash…oh and definitely Boggle.

(I also like coloring, doodling, and collecting cool pens/markers, but that’s a post for another time…)

**I’m a fan of self-care, self-kindness, and self-love.

There, I said it.

I know it’s not at the top of everyone’s hobby list, but it’s on mine.

I’ve spent too much time playing the “Other People Are More Important That I Am” game…

And even though I thought I was pretty good at that game, I never really *won* at it, ya know what I mean?

In fact, quite often wound up losing…a lot.

I lost my health. I lost my ability to trust in myself. I lost my courage. I lost my voice. And those are just a few of things I lost by playing that game. (Which by the way, is a very popular game that a lot of people are into.)

So, instead of making resolutions in the New Year, I’ve decided to embrace this idea of SELF-LOVE in 2009.

That’s my focus…

And that’s how this blog came about.

Love for games + Love for self-love = Self-Love Game 2009

Now here’s the thing about games…

Unlike solitaire which is (kinda) fun to play by yourself…

This Self-Love Game is meant to be played with others.

I am *so excited* to play this game with you…

So how can you get in on the fun?

Here’s the full scoop including all the details and how to know if this is the right game for you to play…

Oh yeah – I almost forgot…

Remember when I said I liked doodling?

Well, you’ll see some of my little visual creations when you click that link. Fun!

Yeah, I know…

A lot of people think it’s SELFISH to pay attention to ourselves.

To think about ourselves before thinking about others.

As if that’d be such a terrible thing.

But I just gotta ask…

- How’s it workin’ for ya to keep putting everyone else’s needs before your own?

- How’s it affecting your health to neglect your body and energy levels in favor of doing something for someone else?

- How’s it affecting your mood when you’re doing things for other people, but you’re running on empty and you feel drained and tired?

- How’s it affecting your ability to say no to things that you don’t really want to do, but that you think you *should* do?

A Double-Edged Sword

I know it feels good to do things for other people…

And I’m not suggesting in any way that you should stop doing that.

But what I *am* going to suggest is that if you want to be able to give to other more fully…

And if you want your own life to be full of good feelings, more peace, and more happiness…

And if you want to make it through life without having a major breakdown or health crisis…

And maybe even have some FUN…

Then you’re going to have to start including YOURSELF on the list of people you’re doing nice things for.

That means putting yourself way up toward the tippy top of your list.

Yes, it’s going to take some practice…

And you might stumble with it a bit in the beginning…

But that’s why I’m here with this blog…

So that we can do this TOGETHER.

So here’s something to think about:

What if loving yourself is actually the most UN-selfish thing you could possibly do?

Think about it for a moment. Close your eyes if you want to…

Then share your thoughts in the comments section.