I’m curious to know how this week is going for you as you Give Up The Blame Game and own your life….

1) My adoption… I have a lot of issues that I can trace back to my being adopted. I really hate adoptees that blame their whole life on that, but sometimes I find myself falling back on it myself.

2) My father’s alcoholism and his abuse of us when we were growing up. We are products of our environment and I am a product of mine.

3) The years I wasted in my relationship with Jim.

4) My emotional instability.

If I created a life where I was 100% responsible for myself I would certainly feel more powerful and be more effective in pursuing my dreams, enjoying each day and feeling a sense of fulfillment.

Steps that I could take this week toward demonstrating that I am responsible for the outcomes in my life…
1) Go to my therapy and be present, open and willing to be vulnerable.

2) Ask for what I want and be willing to receive it

3) Say no when it is honest without taking on the disappointment, frustration, or guilt that I feel is being felt by the other person.

4) Feel my temptations BEFORE I may choose to act on them, recognizing that each action will cause a re-action and contemplate whether it is one I want to experience or not.

My new choice is that I take responsibility for myself and my life. I feel more empowered when I do. Much more mature, grown up, and in control of my life when I do.

One big area:

I’ve blamed my health on other people. I’m aware that a lot of my health issues in the past have come from stress. So I’ve been blaming those people who have contributed to my stress.

Thinking that they shouldn’t have done what they did. They should have treated me differently or better. That they were wrong and they DID this to me.

Kept me in the victim role when I did that in the past.

So now, I choose to take responsibility for my ability to DEAL with stress. Knowing that I have been sensitive to stress in the past to the point of my body being affected, I can take loving action to support myself better around that.

It’s like if I had a peanut allergy (which I don’t) it would be my responsibility to take care of that and make sure that I am safe.

So now that I know some “facts” about me, I can take care of myself by helping me deal with stress in a better way than having the body “fall apart” or whatever.

So…

For 2 actions this week (actually I’m going to do them today) to demonstrate that I’m responsible for the outcome I create…

1) I’m going to read my TMS book reminders to help remind me of the way my mind works sometimes. It tries to create pain in the body to distract me from emotional issues that it perceives would be too painful…so I choose to be in a better relationship with that part of my mind. I’m going to read these reminders after I’m done with this post and I find my book as a preventive measure.

Other people do not cause my body pain. They do not cause my stress. I am the one who experiences things – and if I perceive them as stressful and it affects my body, I can do something about it. I can prevent it by taking good care of myself now and continuously. Then if/when stress happens, I’m stronger and more centered in myself. And when I am stressed, I have things I can do to take care of my stress and myself.

2) I choose to take 10 minute breaks regularly as I’m working throughout the day. I have my timer handy. So I can work and do things and then rest a bit before beginning projects again. This way I’ll prevent burnout and work toward sustaining good energy levels throughout the day. I started my period yesterday so I’ve been dragging a little bit. Makes it even more important for me to take excellent care of myself and listen to my body if it requires more rest.